Yesterday I went to work, I was about fifteen minutes late, I’m not sure how it happened, and this song came on the radio.  I lost it. I was heading for the freeway and I had to reach for the box of tissues in the foot of the passenger seat.  I called mom every day on my way to work… My sister gets five days of bereavement time off work.  I’m home today, only because a colleague offered to work for me so I could get the day off. He’s a facebook friend, too. I didn’t understand it, because I TOLD my boss they were withdrawing support in a few minutes on Friday in my text to request my work assignment for Monday. To anyone medical, that means death! Sure enough, I was at the bedside, and pushed my sister who was in the wheelchair (she’d had a test that morning and had to be careful not to overdo, she’s not ordinarily in a wheelchair) into the side room the nurse told us to wait while they removed the breathing tube according to mom’s wishes.  We came in, mom seemed happy, but I don’t think she understood just how much work that breathing tube was doing for her. The plan had originally been to take the tube out, drive her back home in an ambulance, and let her pass with family present. Covid restrictions were horrible! I’ll speak a little more on that later.  She never could have survived the transport. I was there, the tube was out, she wanted water, but all she could get was a lemon glycerine swab, and I swabbed her mouth. She couldn’t speak. But she was moving her lips. And I’m a horrible lip reader. Her sats dropped rapidly. She couldn’t breathe. The nurse had turned off the norepinephrine drip too. So within minutes her eyes were unseeing, and she was doing Cheyne-Stokes breathing seen at the end of life.  I saw the heart tracing on the EKG turning agonal. I took lots of pictures of my sister with her, and of mom in her last moments of life, and there’s one of me–mask off, shield off, just holding mom in my arms, and my face has the emotion of total grief on it.  It’s true, my life will never be the same without her.  There are three sisters but the healthcare system only allows two present at end of life. So initially my two went up, then one switched out with me, and during mom’s passing, we had the one who was in the car on FaceTime, and she was playing Neil Diamond on the radio, one of mom’s favorites. At the end, the other sister and I switched back.  What did I see? Ross came near, and I told him he has to carry me, I can’t walk to this one. So he did. I told my mom–with my actual voice not just my Spirit one–Go To The Light! She wasn’t in that space much, I think, the space between worlds. She wasn’t sure where to go.  I saw my nana getting ready, she looked very young, a few

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By: Reiki Dochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10331088820027387570noreply@blogger.com
Title: Imaginary Separation
Sourced From: www.blogger.com/feeds/1195894202521076437/posts/default/41389834296835824
Published Date: Tue, 25 Aug 2020 15:48:00 +0000



Author
Holistic News Team
Holistic News Team
Anna Benning - Social Media Manager for Holistic News Live. Self taught naturopathy remedies, herb gardening, yoga, and meditation

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